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im ready to come home!

i cant stand it anymore. ive been in london for 41 days now. 6 weeks. a little more than a month. i want to be home. im tired of not being with my friends. im sick of being away from my boyfriend. i want nothing more than to just be in his arms right now and feel the warmth of his body against mine. i want to be back at gca with the great teachers who actually care, and the kids who are nice and friendly. i went to my new schools induction. sure the teachers were nice, it just didnt seem like they genuinely cared. with the kids, it was like every man for himself and stay away from confrontation as much as possible. yes. its a public school. i know. i have no desire to be with the group of kids i will be in my classes with. not that i am better than them. but last year they chose to goof off which is why they are in these classes. im only here because of the difference in schools. i choose differently than they do. i dont want to hang around them and let my standards be lowered. i will be truely content if i just went to school, came home, studied, and left. with no friends theres no distractions here, which would make my grade better. i am perfectly fine with that. i have always done fine on my own. ive never chosen to be like that, but if i am in a situation where i am by myself i can do just fine. it doesnt bother me. and ive always had friends though, which is wonderful because all my friends are amazing, godly, and christian kids. they are who i choose to surround myself with. and now im choosing to focus on my school work, not making friends. that doesnt bother me. some people cant do without friends. i can. i still have friends in america, of course. but im saying, unless they are godly kids, i dont need friends at school here. i see them as distractions. i want to get a good grade on my ACT. i want to go to abilene.
another thing here is, its london. ive never really had a desire to be in london. sure, its neat. the whole europe thing, but ive never wanted to come here actually. big ben, ifle tower and so on.. they dont seem that interesting to me. its neat to get to seem them but like i said they just dont interest me. every weekend we go sight seeing. honestly i could care less. mom and dad ask me where i want to go, and i say i dont care, because i dont! i know we are in london and we should see all this stuff, but i have no desire to! if we were in austraila or new zealand, the places i actually would want to be other than america, then yes, i would love to go sight seeing and go out somewhere every weekend.. but not here.
and our money problems. it makes me sick. because the only things i actually want to do are so expensive! all i want it just to go back to america. ive planned two times. in october, and in april. but the plane tickets are expensive! but its the only thing i could possibly want right now!! and i feel horrible because we just arent in a great situation with money right now.. but i cant stand not going back. ive been doing alright lately with being here but these past few days i am just sick of it again. i miss home. my parents are trying to help me by getting me stuff to make my room nicer, but i dont care.. id rather use that money to use on a plane ticket. i feel bad because they just want me to be happier, but it seems the only way i could be happier is if i go home. i dont want them to waste money on something i dont really want. and i feel bad asking about going home because it is so expensive but i cant stand staying here so long.
i dont know what to do. i pray. it helps.
but i miss home..